An open road lay before us. The windows were rolled down, my hair blowing wildly in the wind. The maple trees were just starting to catch fire in the setting sun. Early signs of fall were everywhere. Burning bushes ablaze, stretching pines casting shadows on golden oaks, and brilliant yellow sunflowers adorning the cottage fronts. A quiet Lake Michigan sparkled on our right as we entered the quaint little Door County town that claimed the name Baileys Harbor. Eric and I left our beloved children with their grandparents and planned a weekend escape to northern Wisconsin for some much needed one on one time. As we pulled into the parking lot of the Blacksmith Inn, we were greeted with warm smiles, hot apple cider and delectable Door County cherry oatmeal cookies. We took our mugs of steaming cider down a meandering path through cat tails and tall grass to a pier that overlooked the harbor. As we sat there, sipping our drinks, breathing in the crisp lake air and scanning the color-changing trees along the shoreline, we held hands and exchanged smiles that were full of meaning. We really needed this.
Before we had kids, Eric and I were adventurers, loving a lifestyle full of spontaneity and new experiences. We lived in Colorado for a year and a half, so finding excitement was never a difficult task. Our first morning in Baileys Harbor, we planned out a 13 mile bike ride to the Cana Island Lighthouse. Neither one of us had ever been on a tandem bike before, so we thought that would be a fun way to go.
We lasted fifteen seconds before I hopped off and requested my own bike. The bike ride to the lighthouse was beautiful and scenic. We pedaled past rustic cabins with views of the serene lake. Everything was calm here. Quiet and peaceful. We enjoyed exploring around the lighthouse, learning about the history of those who had claimed it as their home. After the bike ride back to the Inn, we checked out and headed to Ephraim, where we would be staying for the next two nights. The following days were spent indulging in excellent food, wine tastings and tours at several wineries and cider mills throughout the neighboring towns, perusing art galleries, and driving through Peninsula State Park (which included a climb up a 100 and something step tower with an overlook of the entire park - which Eric deemed "unsafe" and he couldn't "believe those beams were holding that structure together". When stuff like that comes out of a carpenter's mouth and you are a mile high in the air, it can cause just a little panic.) We watched the sunset every night, from a different point on the harbor.
During a recent sermon series at our church, my Pastor claimed an important truth of which I needed to be reminded of. My marriage needs to be Christ centered, NOT child centered. In this particular season of my life now - with a 4 and 5 year old in tow - that truth has been difficult to claim for myself. My children demand so much of me throughout the day. By the time my husband walks in the door at the end of the day, I'm spent. My energy has been used up on my boys, and I don't feel that I have much left to invest in him. My husband deserves more than that. Much more.
Harvest season is underway. Eric worked all weekend, even on my little one's birthday this past Saturday. I get it - I don't begrudge him at all. I know the work needs to be done. But this time of harvest is a difficult season for our family, because my husband is out the door before the kids are awake and home after they go to bed. I get a healthy dose of what single parenting is all about. And its not easy. But most of all, this time of separation between my husband and I leaves me feeling alone and vulnerable. I miss him. That's why we have made the effort to take a getaway trip every year since we've moved here, about this time, to connect, refocus and remind ourselves of the love we have for each other. It helps us endure this busy season of life.
Marriage is hard work. It requires a constant investment of ourselves into a person we love, though don't particular like at times. It requires sacrifice, selflessness, grace, mercy, ready forgiveness and a whole lot of trust. This recent trip to the beautiful Door County reminded me of some things I hadn't paid much attention to in recent months. With God's beauty in the changing colors of the trees, the vibrant sunsets, bountiful vineyards and sparkling waters, the message He spoke to my heart was loud and clear.
Marriage isn't just about me and my husband. It is a three way union. When Eric and I stood before our friends and family ten and a half years ago and took vows to love, honor and cherish each other, we did so by inviting God to be a part of that covenant. God tethers me to Eric, and Eric to me. By honoring my husband, I am honoring my God - who blessed me with such an amazing man to provide for me. Remembering that God is not only what tethers us together, but also the foundation on which our marriage is built, demands my commitment to invest in maintaining a Christ-centered marriage.
I have always been one that finds myself drawing closer to God when I am in beautiful environments. There is something majestic about standing before a sprawling mountain range, or sinking into the sand on a white beach with waves rolling in. As I took in the beauty around me this past week with my husband, God brought something else to mind. Marriage is a gift from Him. He gave us the gift of marriage as an example of what life is like when we walk with Him. God is always there for us, in sickness and in health. He loves us so much that he sent His only son to die on our behalf. He has the power to heal us, restore us and lift us up from the darkest places. He is always listening to us, even when we aren't speaking. Marriage on earth is a representation of the unity we have with Him when we invite Christ to be a part of our lives. So when I draw near to my husband, God is also inviting me to draw near to Him.
I was also gently reminded this past week that it is imperative to fan the flame. We invest our time, energy, emotions, heart, soul, and passion into so many things. Too much busyness and too many hardships have the potential to wedge themselves between my husband and I throughout the year. With the demands of daily living with small children and my husband's crazy work schedule, I honestly don't know how we would have made it this far had we not taken the time to invest in each other... had we not taken time to fan the flame. Flames will eventually burn out if the fire is not tended to. We are living in a culture where divorce is a declaration of a smoking pile of logs. Too many people are letting the flame die. If I am being honest, I believe our flame has come pretty close to being snuffed out - perhaps only a burning ember was left at one point. But I am thankful for a God who never leaves us or forsakes us - who is small enough to hear our silent prayers, and big enough to keep the fire from going out - all on His own.
This weekend getaway allowed us the chance to pay attention to the details... enjoying the fine wine, stopping to smell the flowers, and witnessing the radiant sunsets that cast a fiery red glow on everything they touched. I am so thankful for the gift of marriage, and how God's love for us is spoken in and through it.
Beautifully said!
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