A Season of Sowing



Lately I have been in a funk. I feel tired. Worn out. From what exactly? I don't really know. Eric just wrapped up his planting season at the farm. So, technically I have been a single mom for the past month. I have so much respect for women who take on single motherhood every day, every month, every year. I can handle most days with my boys - but there are some nights I am looking at the clock, just waiting for my husband to walk through the door... so that I can walk out. I've always been an introspective person. I get stuck in my head a lot, and that isn't always a great place for me to be. I actually don't even feel like writing a blog right now, but I am trusting that God is trying to pull me out of this funky head case so I am going along with this.

Do you ever just feel like everything is hard work? Getting up in the morning, making breakfast for multiple mouths, doing three loads of laundry back to back while trying to scrape food off of plates that have been sitting in the sink for three days, remaining calm and patient with screaming and fighting boys running around and between your legs, the list goes on and on... Sometimes no task is small. I suppose I should mention too that there are a couple of things in my life right now that I am waiting on... I thought baby number three might be on the way by now. God clearly has other plans. And then there is the slow, almost painful process of saving money to build our future house. By the time the bills are paid we are lucky to be able to save anything at all. It sounds like I am complaining. I assure you, I am not. I am one blessed woman, and I know it. But my mindset is off right now. I know this because of what I am focusing on. I have recently decided that God has placed me in a season of sowing. I'm hard at work - doing life, as simple as it sounds, though it is not. And I need to remind myself that following EVERY season of sowing, comes a bountiful harvest.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.  (Galatians 6:9)

I just recently finished planting my garden. I have to admit, digging in the dirt is my least favorite part about gardening. I have princess hands. Though I have learned how to wrestle, touch worms and kill spiders - courtesy of being a mom of boys - I was born a girly girl and will forever be. I know, though, that from each seed I plant comes wonderful, tasty goodness in the form of succulent fruits and vegetables, so digging in the dirt is very worth it to me. I love watching the first sprouts push out of the cracked earth. Every little plant gets my full attention as I pluck the weeds that encroach it. Maintaining a garden is no easy task, but I enjoy the labor because of the fruit each plant yields. I dream of BLT's with fresh purple heirloom tomatoes and basil aioli, garlicky green beans and homemade bread and butter pickles... Mmmm... Just a few more weeks and I will be tasting these sweet treats.



This illustration of planting my garden makes my life make sense right now. Just like I don't like digging in the dirt, I am not crazy about these tougher times that seem to demand more than what I think I can offer. But like any season of sowing, growth brings maturity - in plants and people alike. We get our hands dirty when we sow, and we are stretched and tested as we grow. I constantly pray for God to use me in mighty ways. However, when the going gets tough, I often get weak and miss opportunities to grow in my relationship with Him. He promises me that I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13). By choosing to lean on Him during these moments when I am feeling funky, I am widely available to be used in mighty ways by Him. If I can find joy in the tediousness of gardening, then surely I can press through these challenging seasons by focusing on the beauty of the season itself - taking notice to the way God is choosing to grow me.

I have clusters of green strawberries taking over my garden. Soon enough, I will be harvesting the fruits of my labor. I cling to God's promise to bless me with a harvest in my own daily routine, and with a trip to the beach in the near future, I am counting on doing some reaping then!